It is a most liberating experience when you are able to live
life with an attitude of no expectations.~E. Tan
Fear and doubt manifest when we have expectations that
appear real, but may or may not be founded in truth. We must live in the moment with purpose and surrender any
expectation of an outcome. This is
difficult and something I struggle with like many others.
This week, I finished all my exams for nursing school. In March 2010 when I attended
“Acceptance Day” at Johns Hopkins Nursing School, I never thought this day
would arrive so quickly. Now new
feelings of dread have manifested.
Did I make the correct decision to attend nursing school? Will I find a job after nursing
school? Will I pass the NCLEX? I
worry (fear) that I may not be smart enough, fast enough, good enough at my
job. I know I settled on the idea
of entering nursing with good intentions.
It is a career field that can feed my soul and quest for knowledge. I finally started thinking about
furthering my education to become a Nurse Practitioner, but the thought of
doing so is overwhelming at this point in time.
Fear can defer dreams, goals and the hearts desires. I have found that some fear is self
inflicted. But is it really? We
receive messages everyday about how we have to be better, faster, smarter,
richer, thinner etc. Our entire
society is built on comparisons.
I am trying to live
in the moment for this is all I have.
The alternative leads to anxiety and depression. Perhaps, this accounts for the reason
that so many people are on anti-depression medications or report being “unhappy.”
I guess we have to just live life fully with responsible
risk in life, love, choices, etc.
Today, I swam in the pool (still with my float belt), but I
allowed myself to go in the deep end without my instructor. I needed to test the “water” and my
confidence. I know this is the
only way that I will become a more confident swimmer. I did not expect to be afraid and I was not (I had the belt
on). Sometimes fear is created in
the mind, before it is a reality.
I decided that I was not going to allow fear to shape this new
experience for me and it did not.
Instead, I created a new experience with no doubt.
Expect little and you will more than likely be pleasantly
surprised. Expect a lot and you
are bound to be disappointed. Most
importantly, live in truth and you will always be where you are suppose to be.
~Stayfitt
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