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Follow Your Path


It is a most liberating experience when you are able to live life with an attitude of no expectations.~E. Tan

 Fear and doubt manifest when we have expectations that appear real, but may or may not be founded in truth.  We must live in the moment with purpose and surrender any expectation of an outcome.  This is difficult and something I struggle with like many others.

This week, I finished all my exams for nursing school.  In March 2010 when I attended “Acceptance Day” at Johns Hopkins Nursing School, I never thought this day would arrive so quickly.  Now new feelings of dread have manifested.  Did I make the correct decision to attend nursing school?  Will I find a job after nursing school?  Will I pass the NCLEX? I worry (fear) that I may not be smart enough, fast enough, good enough at my job.  I know I settled on the idea of entering nursing with good intentions.  It is a career field that can feed my soul and quest for knowledge.  I finally started thinking about furthering my education to become a Nurse Practitioner, but the thought of doing so is overwhelming at this point in time.

Fear can defer dreams, goals and the hearts desires.  I have found that some fear is self inflicted. But is it really?  We receive messages everyday about how we have to be better, faster, smarter, richer, thinner etc.  Our entire society is built on comparisons.

I am trying to live in the moment for this is all I have.  The alternative leads to anxiety and depression.  Perhaps, this accounts for the reason that so many people are on anti-depression medications or report being “unhappy.”

I guess we have to just live life fully with responsible risk in life, love, choices, etc. 

Today, I swam in the pool (still with my float belt), but I allowed myself to go in the deep end without my instructor.  I needed to test the “water” and my confidence.  I know this is the only way that I will become a more confident swimmer.  I did not expect to be afraid and I was not (I had the belt on).  Sometimes fear is created in the mind, before it is a reality.  I decided that I was not going to allow fear to shape this new experience for me and it did not.  Instead, I created a new experience with no doubt.

Expect little and you will more than likely be pleasantly surprised.  Expect a lot and you are bound to be disappointed.  Most importantly, live in truth and you will always be where you are suppose to be.

~Stayfitt

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