Skip to main content

Movement is medicine-Reflections from 2018


As I reflect over the events of this year, one word comes to mind.  The word is unravel.  To unravel means to undo, disentangle and investigate. It means to clarify and solve.   Every once in a while, I have a year where all heck breaks out and this was one of those years.  You may have had one year like this as well.

This year I struggled with depression.  This was abnormal for me, but nevertheless it was a real mental state I could not shake.  I struggled with depression and anxiety for months as I watched my 12 year relationship dissolve before my eyes. I felt powerless.  Depression is turning anger inward.  Instead of focusing my anger accordingly, I became angry at myself.  I am a fixer. I can make all things "right," so I thought but I could NOT fix my own marriage.   This was hard for a type A personality. 

This is the most personal entry I have written and I debated whether I would publish it or not.  After thinking for several hours, I decided to post it. Why? 
I chose to post this blog because I used my pain to remember my purpose.  My pain reminded me of who I was before my relationship and who I still am.  It is unfortunate that in relationships, one can lose  themselves.  I did.  However, I kept moving.  I volunteered with children,  worked with my patients in clinical rounds, never missed a day of work, maintained a 3.94  GPA in nurse practitioner school; followed up with my friends about their personal projects, attended family gatherings and ran 702 miles, cycled 1,375 miles and swam 17, 395 yards.  Exercise saved my life.  It reminded me to breathe and just move. It reminded me of ME!  It's ok to just be ME!  I was running before my relationship in 2006.  I am still moving...That is who I AM!

During all the upheaval of the past few months, I was reminded of something I have always believed and continue to believe especially as I get older.  My great-grandmom's favorite line, " You are the company you keep."  Look in the mirror. Then look around you and the company you keep.  The people around you should reflect who you are and your purpose, values and passion.  If you find yourself traveling a road with someone who is traveling with you, but NOT for you--> Detour!  Go back and grab that mirror. Don't spend your life looking at them.  Look at you. Look within.  Then look at them again. If they are not supportive of you living your best life, then turn and walk away QUICKLY!

My final lesson of 2018 is the importance of mental health.  Mental health is just as important as physical health.  Movement was my medicine. Whether it was yoga, running, stretching, swimming, cycling, hiking, pilates, etc., each form of movement reminded me to breathe. I highly recommend that people seek mental health as part of their wellness journey and in crises.  There is NO shame is seeking help.

Thank you 2018 for your lessons.  In all lessons, there is a blessing. I count this joy as well. 

Never forget to enjoy the journey

Wonderful photos from 2018










Comments

  1. Endo.Doc2012December 31, 2018 at 7:33 AM

    Hugs to you and I applaud your transparency. May 2019 further your healing and may you see great things in the future. Also thank you for addressing the stigma of seeking mental health services especially as Black woman

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Define Success*****

Today I must admit was an extra-ordinary day. I had the opportunity to do something I had never done before. I completed 2 endurance events back to back. I participated in the Maryland Sprint duathlon on Saturday and Olympic Distance on Sunday. This consisted of 39 miles of cycling uphill and 10 miles of running in back to back within 24 hours.  For a few, this seemed like a walk in a park. See these events bring out the most talent athletes around. They look fast and have fancy bikes.   I signed up for this race because a buddy asked me to do so.  There I was. No fancy shoes. A bike that is 11 years old. No fancy outfit. NOTHING.  I just said to myself, " Oh well, you defined what you want to get out of this." Oh course, I was totally intimidated by all the racers.  I had not planned on doing this event.  The course is very tough.  I have not trained for much in the past few months, but exercise regularly for sanity.  All I could do is ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Healthy Tips for the Night RN

Imagine yourself walking into a hospital cafeteria between 6am-7pm. Fresh fruits, vegetables, complex carbohydrates and proteins are available to patients, families, visitors and staff. Flashing signs decorate the café with slogans to remind customers to choose healthy options. By 6pm or 7pm, the café is closed.   The lights are dim and all is quiet. The hospital personnel dwindles to essential staff only.   Then here comes the night shift.   All the doctors, nurses and personnel, who keep the inter-workings of the hospital functioning, begin their “day.”   For night shift employees, their “day” begins at night.   As a night nurse, you arrive at 7pm prepared to care for patients and handle any emergencies that may arise until shift change at 7am.   Traditionally, the beginning of the shift is the busiest with night medication passes; preparing patients for surgery for the next day; conversing with family members prior to the end of v...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rock n Roll:DC- Tired, Train, Trust-March 2016

After the long months of cold and over 30 inches of snow, I arrived at the Rock n Roll:DC half marathon.   It was a blast. I had been tired from working consecutive night shifts and this event was on a Saturday unlike other half marathons I have run in the past, except Baltimore.   I spent 2.5 hrs in traffic to pick up my packet on a Friday night .   Between the traffic, security and all the training to get to this event, I was simply exhausted.   Saturday was a brisk Spring day. I decided that I had done all I can to get me to the event healthy so I matters we'll have fun.   I did. I listened to the sites and sounds of the bands and cheers of the spectators. Around mile 5-7, I turned up the music in my iPod. I knew what lay ahead. A huge hill by the National Zoo was gonna trying to beat me down. I felt like an old car with a manual stick shift gear system and powered it down. I made it up the hill and conserved energy for the second...
Post a Comment
Read more