Skip to main content

Movement is medicine-Reflections from 2018


As I reflect over the events of this year, one word comes to mind.  The word is unravel.  To unravel means to undo, disentangle and investigate. It means to clarify and solve.   Every once in a while, I have a year where all heck breaks out and this was one of those years.  You may have had one year like this as well.

This year I struggled with depression.  This was abnormal for me, but nevertheless it was a real mental state I could not shake.  I struggled with depression and anxiety for months as I watched my 12 year relationship dissolve before my eyes. I felt powerless.  Depression is turning anger inward.  Instead of focusing my anger accordingly, I became angry at myself.  I am a fixer. I can make all things "right," so I thought but I could NOT fix my own marriage.   This was hard for a type A personality. 

This is the most personal entry I have written and I debated whether I would publish it or not.  After thinking for several hours, I decided to post it. Why? 
I chose to post this blog because I used my pain to remember my purpose.  My pain reminded me of who I was before my relationship and who I still am.  It is unfortunate that in relationships, one can lose  themselves.  I did.  However, I kept moving.  I volunteered with children,  worked with my patients in clinical rounds, never missed a day of work, maintained a 3.94  GPA in nurse practitioner school; followed up with my friends about their personal projects, attended family gatherings and ran 702 miles, cycled 1,375 miles and swam 17, 395 yards.  Exercise saved my life.  It reminded me to breathe and just move. It reminded me of ME!  It's ok to just be ME!  I was running before my relationship in 2006.  I am still moving...That is who I AM!

During all the upheaval of the past few months, I was reminded of something I have always believed and continue to believe especially as I get older.  My great-grandmom's favorite line, " You are the company you keep."  Look in the mirror. Then look around you and the company you keep.  The people around you should reflect who you are and your purpose, values and passion.  If you find yourself traveling a road with someone who is traveling with you, but NOT for you--> Detour!  Go back and grab that mirror. Don't spend your life looking at them.  Look at you. Look within.  Then look at them again. If they are not supportive of you living your best life, then turn and walk away QUICKLY!

My final lesson of 2018 is the importance of mental health.  Mental health is just as important as physical health.  Movement was my medicine. Whether it was yoga, running, stretching, swimming, cycling, hiking, pilates, etc., each form of movement reminded me to breathe. I highly recommend that people seek mental health as part of their wellness journey and in crises.  There is NO shame is seeking help.

Thank you 2018 for your lessons.  In all lessons, there is a blessing. I count this joy as well. 

Never forget to enjoy the journey

Wonderful photos from 2018










Comments

  1. Hugs to you and I applaud your transparency. May 2019 further your healing and may you see great things in the future. Also thank you for addressing the stigma of seeking mental health services especially as Black woman

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2021 Fort Ritchie Olympic Triathlon

General thoughts about the Fort Ritchie Olympic Triathlon and the race experience.       On August 1, 2021, I participated in a 1 mile swim, 25 mile bike and 6.2 mile run. If you want stats, splits, watts, etc. you will find none of it here.    Why?    It’s not what is important to me in participating in triathlon. It’s not my why! I signed up for the local race in Cascade, Maryland because I knew it would challenge me mentally and physically. My expectations were to finish and learn.  This race was not wetsuit legal and a USAT championship series race.    I knew it would bring out some spectacular athletes from the area.    But I also knew this, I have never swam in open water without a wetsuit.    Never.    Stacy motto- Safety first.  I will not put myself or others at risk for me to race.    I quietly spoke to the race director and he nodded that I could do the race but would not race in my...

Rock n Roll:DC- Tired, Train, Trust-March 2016

After the long months of cold and over 30 inches of snow, I arrived at the Rock n Roll:DC half marathon.   It was a blast. I had been tired from working consecutive night shifts and this event was on a Saturday unlike other half marathons I have run in the past, except Baltimore.   I spent 2.5 hrs in traffic to pick up my packet on a Friday night .   Between the traffic, security and all the training to get to this event, I was simply exhausted.   Saturday was a brisk Spring day. I decided that I had done all I can to get me to the event healthy so I matters we'll have fun.   I did. I listened to the sites and sounds of the bands and cheers of the spectators. Around mile 5-7, I turned up the music in my iPod. I knew what lay ahead. A huge hill by the National Zoo was gonna trying to beat me down. I felt like an old car with a manual stick shift gear system and powered it down. I made it up the hill and conserved energy for the second...

The Reflections on COVID-19 from Generation X

When you grow up with less, you learn how to make a dollar out 15 cents See Langston was right. Life ain’t no crystal stair and grit is only a new concept to the comfortable living high on Maslow’s hierarchy. See when you grow up with little, you can make something out of nothing. You know how to create calm in the chaos.  We know how to maximize with minimal. We’ve been living the game of Chutes and Ladders.  We’ve been watching those who sit securely in the cushy desks slide down the chute while others who have been the backbone of this nation climb up the ladder to save her. See Patti told us Your Ams to Short to box with God. She’s right you know But this is all about show Healthcare is a human right Nah, I’m not one to pick a fight But... Like Stevie said we living on the edge of.. COVID-19 So forgive me this may sound mean For all of those who were against Obamacare and said it was like Government cheese Give your check to essential workers please A...