The Journey

Music is my life. This is the title of a Patti Labelle song and sums up who I am. I could sing before I could speak in full sentences. Music and memory are intertwined in the fabric that is Stacy. I work out with music especially swimming since it scares me so. Music comforts me so I combine both. It is all about the midnight hour- a time when I am in a dark place with all of this swimming, biking and running that I question- " what are you doing?"  Self-doubt shows up with her friend, the critic and they attack me. They have a gun while I have a knife. The battle is real. That is the midnight hour. The internal battle is real when you look at your training plan and cry. The critic says-"You know you aren't any good at this. You suck. People die from doing this. They drown, they get mowed down on their bikes or they fall. Stop!" I tell the critic- "If I am not trying, I am dying.  I can't sit and worry. Worry is not work."  If ...

Oh Happy Day when Jesus washed my sins away.  Yes! Here I was with old Negro spirituals in my head. They comfort me when I am scared. Guess what?   It was one of those days.   I signed up for this event after attending Swimfest Ft. Ritchie with triathlon buddies. One thing I noticed is I had sufficient ability to participate in this but no OWS experience. I promised myself I would go home and sign up for OWS lessons. I did!   Two weeks after my first lesson with Traci, I   found myself standing at the starting line of a Swim fest. I had no family or friends who could attend this event so I went alone. I was scared. But I just sang a line in one of my favorite songs, "Ain't no need to worry what tomorrow gonna bring, it will be all over in the morning."   The start gun went off and I let every one go. I decided in that moment, I will finish and learn. I stayed in the back and focused on one buoy at a time. I claimed victory at each...

Today was my first OWS in Annapolis. I was so scared. I met the swim coach who is truly an angel in disguise, Traci.   We have met before, but I was not ready mentally or physically. I stayed with the newbies then the best swim angel, Lisa arrives (in above photo in the Blue). All anxiety ceased. Lisa is a strong swimmer and a friend extraordinaire. Every girl should have a Lisa in their life. Someone who encourages you and shows up for you when need a little extra support. True swim angel indeed.   I found additional Angels at the swim, Shaunna (in photo above), Crystal and Eric. I managed to swim out and back with Lisa on the 350 m course. I panicked because I couldn't find the body. She reminded me that you control the tempo and take your time. I did. I finished and managed to go again with another new swimmer. Lisa swam behind us.   I did it again.   Golly Gosh-   I did it!!  

I am a firm believer in putting in the work. It will hurt and you may suffer at that moment but it is all worth it. Surround yourself around those who take you in the direction of your dreams. This is on my favorite coffee cup.  As someone who toggles the line between introvert and extrovert, I choose to work out alone most days. However, I am learning that I enjoy sharing my love of running with other runners especially new female runners. This event was well organized. I was honored to speak at a women diversity panel and share a few stories about my 25 years in running and how important it is to support other women. I met so many great ladies. Some participated in the 5k,10k and half marathon. I chose the 10k since most of my energy these days has been focused on swimming. The Annapolis course is not for the faint of heart. It was a hilly course with 95% humidity. I was so excited about being surrounded by all the positive energy of the women that I ran freel...

Since I had been training consistently, I decided to sign up for this event. If you noticed, I tried to steer clear of saying race. Using the word, event, allows me to relax and enjoy running while the word race makes me anxious.   It was a low key event in Howard County, Maryland known for it's hills. I knew it would be tough. I maintained my nothing new in race day motto as I had done for 25 years.   I knew there was a big chance I may be alone on the course since there were few participants and a fast field. I did all my long runs alone so I was mentally prepared.   I ran alone a lot or shoulder to shoulder with few.   What I have learned from participating in events is one can never predicted the outcome. I did the same plan as my last half marathons and finished in the top 10 in my Age group with 1:58 finish. My best time ever.   Note- Focus on the process not the outcome

After the long months of cold and over 30 inches of snow, I arrived at the Rock n Roll:DC half marathon.   It was a blast. I had been tired from working consecutive night shifts and this event was on a Saturday unlike other half marathons I have run in the past, except Baltimore.   I spent 2.5 hrs in traffic to pick up my packet on a Friday night .   Between the traffic, security and all the training to get to this event, I was simply exhausted.   Saturday was a brisk Spring day. I decided that I had done all I can to get me to the event healthy so I matters we'll have fun.   I did. I listened to the sites and sounds of the bands and cheers of the spectators. Around mile 5-7, I turned up the music in my iPod. I knew what lay ahead. A huge hill by the National Zoo was gonna trying to beat me down. I felt like an old car with a manual stick shift gear system and powered it down. I made it up the hill and conserved energy for the second...

Indoor Tri day in February 2016 was great fun. As a treat for my efforts during the November-January, I signed up for an Indoor Tri at a local gym. To keep my anxiety in check, I simply though of this event as a workout with friends. My time slot was at 2pm , but I arrived early and was given an earlier time slot at 12:30 pm . I met a wonderful couple who noticed I arrived alone and they warmly greeted me at the pool. We completed the 10 min swim, 30 min bike and 20 min run together. I believe the universe conspires to bring wonderful people in our oaths when we need them. Though we may arrive at an event by ourselves, we are not alone.  The fear of arriving at event alone or traveling, dining, shopping etc. can impede growth and opportunity. I have found that when you are willing to do something alone then you really want it and muster a new kind of personal fortitude that groups can not offer.

Winter in the Mid-Atlantic states can be both a curse and a blessing. The days can be bright and crisp or dark and long. The choice is how do we use this the time. Since my birthday is in the winter, I decided to use it as a time to re-assess and re-evaluate  my triathlon/fitness goals. So I thought, now is the time for you to do WORK. I signed up for a virtual Ironman in a month Challenge. This gave me the freedom to complete 140.6 of swimming, biking and running over one month. Since I don't like races, I found this challenge to be perfect for me. I made a workout schedule/training program to help me successfully complete the challenge. I posted everyday on the Ironman Challenge FB page and saw how much progress I had made each day. The support of the participants was amazing. Perfect strangers encouraging each other along during the challenge. I loved that. The positive energy was infectious. I did this challenge in November 2015 and January 2016. I learned th...

In November 2015, I decided to  sign up for 10 k. As I have stated before I don't particularly like races. They give me anxiety and I don't need them to validate me. I workout rigorously and regularly so my attitude toward races had to change.  So I decided to view them as workouts with friends. So there I was at the Bay Bridge 10k with thousands of runners. The weather was perfect. I saw a few familiar smiling faces from my local running club and Facebook. Attitude is everything. Regardless of the outcome, I was determined to have a great run and I did. I am not outcome focused in races, I focus on the process. Each step counts. I focus on each breathe and how my body feels. I felt great. There is nothing like visceral feedback. Did I care about my time? Nope. Did I have a great time. Yup . It was in that moment that I decided that I must do more workout with friends.

In October 2015, I had to make a tough decision. I had to admit that I was unhappy with my academic program and course of study. It was not right for me so I did something I thought I would never do- I quit the program. I just said, "Stacy, all you have to say is Stop and it will."   I did. I withdrew and got my refund.   The program was not right for me.  I wanted something more or at least I can say different. Little did I know that the break up was a set up for something wonderful.